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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
not-a-witty-url
professorpineapple

“you’re an art model does that mean you’re NAKED?”
“yeah”
“whoa….those lucky artists ;)”

…buddy.

professorpineapple

idk who started the idea that life drawing classes have anything sexy going on like. there’s at least ten people in the room and we’re all tired and covered in charcoal.

the dude in front who’s staring at my boobs has been trying to get the shading right for 10 minutes. he’s almost out of paint. he is crying.

askfordoodles

#this ain’t some avant-garde titanic poly romance it’s a bunch of individual sinking ships and one uncaring human-shaped ice burg

branch-and-root

The ice burg being frozen solid because there are NEVER ENOUGH SPACE HEATERS.

angryfishtrap

I was an artist’s model in uni since it paid better than any other student work position. Did a life drawing class one semester, despite it being an unheated old building in the winter evenings, because the instructor was a decent fellow who always had extra space heaters. So there I am one evening, exhausted from my team’s afternoon practice, but I’m in a comfortable position on a padded stool, ready to hold the position for like fifteen minutes. Space heaters all around me, spotlights on me to get shadows in interesting places.

Beyond the red glow of the heaters and the hot-white of the spotlights, the massive drafty room is dark and quiet, broken only by the instructor’s whispers and the scratch of charcoal on paper. Me, I’m just dozing, ‘cause my ancient dorm was heated with creaky old steampipes that never really got warm, and with the new extra-powered space heater alongside the others, that night was the warmest I’d been in a month. I dozed, basking in the glorious warmth.

And then I fell asleep.

And then I fell off the stool.

I woke up rather abruptly on the cold wooden platform, and looked up to see an entire ring of terrified and worried faces around me. Everyone had their hands up, ready to help me up, except no one had touched me. Naked chick laid out face-down on the floor, and all the men and women were suddenly acutely aware they couldn’t just grab a half-asleep dazed naked chick.

Fortunately someone had the bright idea to tear the sheet down from the backdrop, lay it over me as a wrap, and then everyone was quick to help me up.

After that, the instructor and students got used to taking turns talking to me, just to make sure I wasn’t dozing off. Which was weird, at first, because I’d done two semesters just being a silent prop, and now I was interacting. It gave the class a vibe completely unlike any other I’d modeled for, and it ended up one of my favorite modeling experiences. 

postscript: months later, walking on campus with someone who’d eventually become my spouse, we passed some guys on the main path. One of them stopped, peered at me, and then said hello, excitedly, saying, “sorry, I didn’t recognize you, I’ve never seen you with your clothes on!”

whitebear-ofthe-watertribe

This is honestly so delightful and accurate 

thenightingalelily

The only situation where saying “I’ve never seen you with your clothes on” is a completely normal thing to say.

Source: professorpineapple
not-a-witty-url

How to talk to the wind

hgk477

  1. If the wind falls silent, she is listening to you. Speak.
  2. Always whisper.
  3. In case there is a wind swirl carrying autumn leaves, step back. Let her dance. 
  4. Don’t go outside if the wind is howling. The ghosts are passing through. 
  5. She already knows everything about you. Never lie.
  6. You may play the flute.
  7. Listen to storms. Don’t talk. 
  8. She gives life to your words. Make them meaningful. Especially when you talk to her.
  9. If she whispers in your ear, listen closely. It means she trusts you enough to share her secrets. 
  10. Words travel far and fast. Don’t say anything that could awake the spirits. 
  11. She has a strong temperament and gets angry easily. Make sure to always be nice to her, you don’t want to be on her bad side.
  12. If she is talking to thunder, leave them alone. They don’t want you to hear. 
  13. When she greets you with a breeze the following morning, pretend you didn’t hear them. 
  14. A sudden draft is always a bad omen. 
  15. Never, ever, complain about her. She will remember.

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Source: hgk477